Hubris? Ksenia STOPPED At Moldova Airport ONE WEEK Before Receiving Fifth Solvers Choice Award

CHISINAU – As the saying goes, pride comes before a fall. Never has this quip been more relevant than with the ongoing situation where infamous jury member, Ksenia Gilyarova, faces detainment in Chisinau airport on her way to the 15th edition of the International Linguistics Olympiad in Dublin, where she was set to win her fifth Solvers’ Choice award. Guess that’s karma for you.

Travel problems are not new to IOL. Just this year, the Taiwanese team has been delayed by a “typhoon” and the Armenian team decided they wouldn’t even bother trying to come. In Mysore 2016, major disruption was caused when the people of Bangalore staged a strike after seeing the farce that was that year’s IOL Jeopardy. This meant that coaches conveniently had to leave up to 9 hours before they were scheduled to, greatly diminishing the number of people that needed to be catered for the following morning.

The exact causes for Gilyarova’s delay are not yet known, but word is that the Moldovan authorities were tipped off by an anonymous source who had been seen writing Moldovan and was hoping to guarantee the prestigious 15th Solvers’ Choice award for himself. This just goes to show: with great success comes a target on your back and an angrily worded email to the Chisinau airport authorities.

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IOL FQA – “So, What’s The Deal With The Isle Of Man?” ect.

BOROVETS – The 15th International Olympiad in Linguistics is going to kick off in Dublin in a couple of days time so we here at LNNO wanted to answer some frequent questions asked (FQA) for first-time IOLers. It can be a very daunting process when you first arrive, so take a look at this guide and you’ll settle in much quicker!

“So, What’s the Deal With The Isle Of Man?”

Good question! If you ask the Manx team, their responses range from “It’s not part of the UK stop asking us that” to “I don’t fucking know either”. If you ask someone from the UK, they’ll say they’re “imposters”. Some might argue it’s a hoax, like Bielefeld. I guess the jury’s still out on this one!

“What is IOL Jeopardy?”

One of the American team leaders, Drago Radev, likes to hold a general knowledge quiz modelled after the American TV show of the same name. Some key characteristics of the show are kept for the IOL edition, including respondents having to give the question for a particular answer and the ever-confusing IOL History round. You should also be aware of last year’s allegedly “rigged” competition, in which the audience won by 1 point after the frontrunner, Liam Macknight, “couldn’t recognise” a photo of Bernie Sanders because it was from a “weird angle”.

LNNO Top Tip: Try to enjoy it this year, but don’t forget that it’s probably all scripted.

“How do I talk to the other competitors?”

If you come from an English-speaking country, congratulations! You don’t need to do anything to communicate with your fellow competitors. Otherwise, you’ll probably have to buckle down and learn some English. If you’re from Russia or Bulgaria, you can just talk to the jury, so I wouldn’t worry too much about that.

“6 hours seems like a long time! How can I survive that long?”

Anyone who’s ever been to IOL can attest that 6 hours is actually a really short amount of time, given the amount of work you have to do in the papers and compared to the awkward silences when you first try to talk to someone from a different team, which can last upwards of 3 days. Our advice is to buckle down and keep yourself busy and you’ll find that the time flies past, relatively speaking at least.

“Is IOL really mainstream enough to need a satirical news website?”

We don’t know what you’re talking about.

Future Of IOL Threatened By Sony Lawsuit

The future of the International Linguistics Olympiad appears to be in, er, jeopardy after Sony Pictures Television filed a copyright infringement claim against the IOL Committee over the unlawful use of the Jeopardy! brand at the most recent competition.

It is alleged that one Dragomir Radev of the USA did not seek the appropriate permissions to produce, quite frankly, a carbon copy of the popular quiz show, a situation which Sony tolerated until recent allegations of corruption in the 2016 edition threatened to bring the brand into disrepute.

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IOL 2017 To Be Published Only In Esperanto

eolDUBLIN – After 14 years of translating linguistics olympiads into as many languages as requested by participants, the IOL problem committee has announced their decision to get rid of the pesky translation thing once and for all. “In 2003, we only had 6 countries to think about and most of them already had representatives in the jury anyway so it wasn’t that big of a deal. But recently, with 30 countries participating every year, and with multiple languages per country (I mean, Bengali? Really?), we’re really starting to run thin. Some guy from the UK asked us to write it in Basque. I mean, for God’s sake, who can be fucked to do that,” Boris Iomdin told the press in a public statement, admitting that they tried to get Ivan Derzhanski to translate the papers, but on further inspection, they realised that in each of the languages he had translated, he had replaced the traditional 5 problem format with a single problem consisting of a list of chess variants translated into Burushaski that the contestants were expected to spend all 6 hours solving.

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